Evan Jerome

Here's our little guy...born today about 3:15pm, weighing 7lbs 10oz. More details to come...

God is so gracious.

I feel very strange today, knowing that my baby will definitely be born yet I have not had one of those death-defying contractions or crazy water-breakage moments. I'm a planner and this whole “planning an induction” thing has had its up sides yet it's still very strange for me to have the birth of my child scheduled, since I'm a very “natural all the way” type of laborist. After talking to my doctor, he explained that the risks of babies passing meconium in utero increases after 41 weeks, which for me would be on Sunday. Mallory passed her meconium before delivery and she was 40w5d (I'm currently 40w4d). We've been there, done that...having a baby aspirate meconium and stay in the NICU for 4 days. More than anything, I want to avoid that for this baby. So, I'm succumbing to having what is usually natural for me be something a little more “medical”. Not that it's a bad thing, thanks to the advancement in medicine for L&D, it's just unusual for me.

So, like my other 2 labors, this one will be very different for us. The outcome, we pray, will be the same: the arrival of strapping Moss-child whom we'll love and cherish. The process of getting him out will just be different.

Both Patrick and I have woken up pretty early this morning in preparation for this day. He's spending time with God, praying for us and reading the Word to gather strength for this day. Me, I've been doing a lot of praying and reflecting, thanking God for bringing me to this point of great, intense joy in the arrival of this little guy. When I found out I was pregnant (I was only 4 weeks along), I was greatly depressed at knowing I was going to have another. We were at a very low point in our marriage, faith and family and I didn't know how we were going to do this. I was, shamefully confessing, hoping that somehow God would take this child from me to relieve us from wondering how we were going to piece together what was broken while raising yet another baby. I was not happy at all. Oh, but by God's great mercy, he did not grant my request. Instead, he took what was broken in our lives and made something very beautiful. God used this pregnancy to show us how much grace He had for us and out of his love, our hearts were changed from despair to hope. This baby, though still unborn for only a short while more, is a symbol of God's sacred blessing in our lives and we're thankful for this 3rd child. We love him so much and I can't wait to hold him, kiss him, nurse him...sacrificing of myself for his life and well being.

Pray for us today. Pray that this labor will go well. My fear that was once about this labor is gone now. The fear has been replace with peace and excitement. Yes, it will be different with lots of unknowns, but that's OK. I have a God who is gracious.

Can't wait to meet you, little one!

40 weeks

Today, I'm officially "due". October 25, 2009.

I was 40w5d pregnant with Mallory when she was born. She liked where she was in my womb and took her blessed time to arrive. Today, Mallory is easily distracted and continually dawdles and daydreams, taking her time to do everything from going to the potty to eating her food to cleaning up her toys to falling asleep.

I was 39w3d pregnant with Ethan when he was born. He was ready and willing to come out in good time. Today, he wants his way quickly and immediately or he'll pitch a fit. He started running early, talking early, eating solids early, comprehending early...and so many more things...EARLY.

It makes me wonder what this little guy will be like. I guess that will depend on when I go into labor???? Time can only tell...

From the mouths of Babes

Scene: Mommy and Daddy are getting ready for church in the bathroom.

While Daddy is putting in his contacts...
Mallory: Daddy's eye is broken.

While Daddy is shaving...
Mallory: Daddy's painting his mouth.

Fall Photos

I haven't had much time to do anything these days except chase after my born children while extra large with my unborn child. I've been switching rooms, cleaning out closets, making burp clothes and blankets, *trying* to keep up with preschool, and all of my other duties as wife and mom. Needless to say, when I have a chance to sit or rest, I sit or rest. So, the blog has been on the back burner and it will probably be that way for a while...

I did have a brief photo shoot with the kids earlier this week before the rain came (we're supposed to have rain for the next several days...). Here are a few...

The Outtakes:

Oh, Ethan!!!

I just gave Ethan a piece of cheese to munch on and he looked at it and said "It's a trapezoid".

Oh, he makes me smile.

This time last year...

It's amazing how plans can VASTLY differ from one year to the next!

On October 5, 2008 we were sailing away from Tampa, FL for a 7 day vacation. On October 5, 2009 I'm 37w2d pregnant while caring for and cleaning up messes of 2 sick children.

Fullness of Joy

While I was folding clothes this afternoon, sitting in front of the TV watching a Praise Baby video for the 100th time with Ethan, I had an epiphany.

So many little things in my life have added up to show me how much joy there exists way deep down in my heart; it's a joy that is only God-given and nothing that I've done is deserving of this joy.

I was folding one of Patrick's shirts and God showed me what a treasure I have in my husband. It's hard for me to believe that 6 months ago, I didn't like being in the same room with him...and him me. There was so much unspoken tension that we didn't know how to address, except through anger, aversion, and tears. After falling down into a lowest of low, God has slowly brought us through this muck and mire, transforming our hearts from ones of despair to hope. And there is fullness of joy in our marriage.

This morning, I woke up about 6:30, thinking that Patrick was downstairs doing some reading and I poured my coffee while starting on my never-ending list of to-dos. About 30 minutes later, I heard the garage door open and I was surprised to see Patrick walk in with a bag of cinnamon-chip scones and a pumpkin spice latte for me. I was speechless at this act of kindness, knowing that he thought of me first thing and went out to get me something I enjoy...just because he loves me. He's been asking me questions about what I like from here or there and I just didn't add it up, not even expecting such a gesture. We shared the pastries with the kids, spending a leisurely morning together in laughter and excitement of another adventure he was taking Mallory on this afternoon...a date to see her first movie in a theatre. He's been wanting to do something like this with Mal and I'm excited for both of them. Last weekend, he gave me time to myself while taking the kids to his parents for the weekend. And he's also been helping out a lot with other tasks that are normally mine, but with the greatness of my berth, it's been more physically challenging for me and he notices. I also found and re-read a note yesterday that he wrote to me a few months ago, expressing his love for me and desiring to show me the love I deserve as his wife.

I'm thankful for the lessons we're learning about love. We sacrifice precious sleep time for 20-30 minutes alone with each other in the mornings to have a brief devotion, pray, and talk about what's going on in our hearts. We had a few weeks of direction through counselling at church, but other than that, our commitment to this time has been under the leadership of Patrick and my willingness to follow. It's amazing what God will do when choosing to do things God's way. God can transform the ugliest of ugly to something very beautiful and new. I can't tell you how many ways our marriage has flourished...and it hasn't been because we talked to the right people or we've been held accountable by this person or that person or because we've delved into programs or what-not. Our marriage has flourished under the grace of God through Christ who is served by a faithful husband dedicated to love his wife and by a wife who chooses to submit to her husband.

Easy? No. This has not been a easy road.

But as the little things happen in life, like lattes, laundry, laughter and love notes, God will show Himself gracious to the undeserved sinner.

And He will give fullness of joy.