Thursday, October 29, 2009

God is so gracious.

I feel very strange today, knowing that my baby will definitely be born yet I have not had one of those death-defying contractions or crazy water-breakage moments. I'm a planner and this whole “planning an induction” thing has had its up sides yet it's still very strange for me to have the birth of my child scheduled, since I'm a very “natural all the way” type of laborist. After talking to my doctor, he explained that the risks of babies passing meconium in utero increases after 41 weeks, which for me would be on Sunday. Mallory passed her meconium before delivery and she was 40w5d (I'm currently 40w4d). We've been there, done that...having a baby aspirate meconium and stay in the NICU for 4 days. More than anything, I want to avoid that for this baby. So, I'm succumbing to having what is usually natural for me be something a little more “medical”. Not that it's a bad thing, thanks to the advancement in medicine for L&D, it's just unusual for me.

So, like my other 2 labors, this one will be very different for us. The outcome, we pray, will be the same: the arrival of strapping Moss-child whom we'll love and cherish. The process of getting him out will just be different.

Both Patrick and I have woken up pretty early this morning in preparation for this day. He's spending time with God, praying for us and reading the Word to gather strength for this day. Me, I've been doing a lot of praying and reflecting, thanking God for bringing me to this point of great, intense joy in the arrival of this little guy. When I found out I was pregnant (I was only 4 weeks along), I was greatly depressed at knowing I was going to have another. We were at a very low point in our marriage, faith and family and I didn't know how we were going to do this. I was, shamefully confessing, hoping that somehow God would take this child from me to relieve us from wondering how we were going to piece together what was broken while raising yet another baby. I was not happy at all. Oh, but by God's great mercy, he did not grant my request. Instead, he took what was broken in our lives and made something very beautiful. God used this pregnancy to show us how much grace He had for us and out of his love, our hearts were changed from despair to hope. This baby, though still unborn for only a short while more, is a symbol of God's sacred blessing in our lives and we're thankful for this 3rd child. We love him so much and I can't wait to hold him, kiss him, nurse him...sacrificing of myself for his life and well being.

Pray for us today. Pray that this labor will go well. My fear that was once about this labor is gone now. The fear has been replace with peace and excitement. Yes, it will be different with lots of unknowns, but that's OK. I have a God who is gracious.

Can't wait to meet you, little one!

4 comments:

Kelly said...

You are right...our stories are very similar. So glad you are emerging into a season of richness and grace. Praying with you for a safe and quick delivery.

Courtney said...

"sacrificing of myself for his life and well being" - Well said. You've always done that so well for your kids. And this new one is no exception!

Good luck today. I'm guessing today is the induction? I'm glad the planner in you was able to plan your baby's arrival :) I loved planning mine.

Luv ya...can't wait to see pics!

Jennifer Eastland said...

Praying from New Orleans!

Josh and Dana said...

Melanie, this made me teary. Thanks for being so open in your struggles, and what God has been bringing you both through. It's especially encouraging to me to read about the restoration between you and Patrick. I know it takes a lot of courage to write that, but I assure you, it's bringing God great glory. I need those reminders that He's bigger than our mess.

And CONGRATS on a beautiful, healthy boy!!! What a cutie!!!