There are only a few days left in February and I'm really ready for this month to be over. This month has been a tough one for me. A very tough one. Lots of sickness, lots of sleepless nights, lots of emotional roller coasters, lots of decisions, lots of craziness, and lots of just everything. I've never been through such a month and there have been some crazy ones in my 30 years.
Never in my life have I missed my best friend with such intensity. Never have I wanted a major change yet want things to stay the same, too. Never have I wanted to throw my hands up and say "I'm done!". Never have I realized how important restoration is...restoration of relationships, hope, faith, peace, love, joy; and some of those things feel unreachable yet at the tips of my fingertips at the same time. Never have I been more confused, scared and frustrated yet in wonder at new possibilities that have creeped up in my life. Never have I seen more clearly that I can't live my life on my own without the help of the One who created it. And never have I wondered why there are people who try.
I'm looking forward to March. I'm hoping that it will be better than February. There are no guarantees and God only knows, but I hope that if there are fires, I will be refined rather than burned.