Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Will the real Doggie please stand up.

For those of you who thought "Doggie" was Cayman, I wanted you to meet him. The "real" Doggie is on the left. The doggie on the right is a replacement, or as Mallory would call him, an imposter. We have a back up in case the real Doggie gets lost or needs a bath (which is at least once a week), but Mallory will have NONE of the back up Doggie. And we're still dealing with lots of screaming and crying at naptime and bedtime...at least 30-40 minutes each time. Why does she throw the thing out of the crib???? Last night, she threw him out before I even left the room, followed by shreiks of "Doooooogggggiiiieeeeee!!!!!!". Oh, Doggie, Doggie, Doggie. I love/hate you!


Mel H. said...

This is absolutely a manipulation/controlling behavior. Mallory's knows in this one thing, she can control her parents and get her way. She will try to wear down your resistance...my suggestion? Tell her Doggie had to help a new baby learn to sleep through the night and pack it away for when she brings her boyfriend home. It'll be rough for a few days, but if she knows Doggie is no longer in the house, not just MIA for a few minutes/hours, it'll make it easier. Then let her pick out a new stuffed toy at the store and set rules for when and where the new toy goes...I think your sanity is at stake here...

Joy said...

Grace does something similar to this at bedtime. I figure it's partly personality (which reminds me of myself at that age from what I've heard) and partly a stage. I guess I've figured Grace wants to make the decision for herself (after all, I can't MAKE her do anything). We have a routine now which works really well... I say, "Say Good night Mama" and "I love you mama". She says both and then since she has essentially agreed to it, she does it pretty well. This works well in the store when she sees a toy she wants. I let her look at it and then say, "Say, bye-bye doggie." She says it and then is fine.

Another example of strong-willed Grace wanting to make her own decision: when I offer to help her down the stairs, she says, "No, no, no!" I turn around and then she says, "Mama help me."

Anyway, the idea is persuasion. After all, we want our children to decide to obey, not be forced to obey.

And you are doing great, Melanie! If Mal didn't do things like this, it would be unnatural. It's in no way a sign of your having made a mistake somewhere or of an impending coup.