Counting it all joy

I didn't know whether or not I should post about this; I don't know why I've hesitated.

I'm feeling great sorrow and pain for my extended family today. In the wee hours of yesterday morning, while I was peacefully sleeping in my bed, my cousin, Char, and her husband, John, were struggling to save their 5 year old little girl who stopped breathing (without explanation) in the middle of the night. She did not survive.

It doesn't make any sense to me. My hope is in Jesus, though. I'm praying for Char. I'm praying for my sister, who is heading up to IL to be with her. Amanda was close to Char and her family and is feeling a great ache and will be ministering to them up north.

I've been hugging my kids a little tighter today, telling them I love them, and wondering what it would be like not to have them in this life again. The thought alone makes my stomach ache.

Here is a link to my sister's blog, where she posted a picture of Madison.

Everyday I live, I understand more about the reality of how hard life is. There is so much hurt and pain. There is also lots and lots of joy, too. I want to focus on the joy, though I am very aware of the pain. I pray that God will mature my faith to see joy in the trials.

Joy?

Not the kind of joy that makes you want to dance a jig. The joy comes in knowing that God is control of all things, even painful trials he uses to mature my faith and draw me closer to him.

Pray for Char. Pray for John. Pray for their son, Zach.